Ode to Thee...

I want to dedicate this post to stay-at-home mommies. I have recently started pondering how in the world you have the patience (Job) to stay at home every single day in the dog days of summer in this godforsaken inferno that we live in with your kids. I question whether it is some kind of form of self-torture, but it is undoubtedly the hardest freaking job out there. So, what have the McCarty's been up to, you ask?? Well, God has already started paying me back for my teenager years in the form of my oldest son. Yesterday during our nightly venture to the park, Jackson stuck his fatty little knees (yes, Mother, I know perfectly well where he got those) between the railing on the jungle gym, we hear "Help, help!" and realize that he seriously got stuck! Just as I was picturing myself sprinting home to retrieve the economy-size jar of Jiff and lathering his knees in peanut butter, Amy pulled him out. Whew. Close one. Thing is, I think he would have thoroughly enjoyed peanut butter coated knees. The other day I found him sitting next to Hudson, who was quietly enjoying the vibrations of his fishy bouncer, picking his (Hudson's) toenails! (like the fatty knees, I take full responsibility for his picking fetish. I used to hold Ashley down and pick her scabs) It went like this:
Me: "Jackson! What are you doing???"
Jackson: "Cutting Huddy's toenails, Mom!"
Me: (removing him) "No, Jackson- that hurts Huddy."
Jackson: "No it doesn't! He yikes it!"
Funny thing is, Hudson didn't seem to mind a bit. He just sat there all gummy-smiled while Jackson peeled off his toenails one by one.

On Sunday, just as the walls were starting to close in on us and we were finally getting out of the house to run errands, we have both kids fully clothed, both parents showered and dressed, diaper bag packed, an entire family of shoes located, and the dogs fully prepared for our departure, Jackson runs out of his room wearing his "Hulk PJs" to the store...without underwear or a pull-up and with both legs in one leg hole. Once he realized how goofy he looked, he began doing the Shake Your PeePee dance all over the living room laughing hysterically (evidently the hilarity of the Shake Your PeePee dance does not subside with age- where do you think he learned it, Nathan?). After another round of Chase Jackson Around the House, we finally left the house... a mere 4 hours after we woke up.

He is also in to pretending he is various superheros. Here he is with my freshly dry cleaned dress pretending it is a Superman cape...

He also scales the shelves in the pantry (those crappy wire kind that builders put in that can barely hold the weight of a Texas cockroach much less a 35 lb. kid) and claims to be Spiderman- "Here are my webs- Pssssshaw!" His latest quotes, which make his parents oh so proud, are "I'm gonna beat their butts", "Oh my gaaawwd" and my personal favorite "Oh my f*cking". Don't even ask, people. And, then there's my sweet little Huddy...give him a teaspoon of Caro syrup and he's just "chillin' dude".

So, point is, you kick ass stay-at-home mommies. I don't know how you do it. I think I will just sit at my desk, drink my coffee, and surf the web, thank you very much.